“[18] Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” [19] Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. [20] The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. [21] So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. [22] And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. [23] Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
[24] Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. [25] And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
If you’ve been following closely, you will begin to notice how verse 14 stands in stark contrast to everything that has transpired up until this point. Up until this point, the word “good” had been used only in a positive sense. God spoke, creation followed, and God saw that it was good. God spoke, creation followed, and God saw that it was good. God spoke, creation followed, and God saw that it was good. Then on the seventh day, God saw everything that he had made and declared it as “very good.” But here we see God declare something to be “not good.” He says, “It is not good that the man should be alone.”
In Genesis 1:26, we see God say, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” So, in chapter 1, we’re first introduced to the triune nature of God. There is one God who eternally exists in three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Therefore, if we are made in the image of a communal God, we can rightly conclude that we are made for community.
God’s declaration is theologically and psychologically true; it is not good for humans to be alone. The triune God who exists in perfect community has declared it is not suitable for the one made in his image to be alone.
So, let's examine what God does to address this need with Adam— “He made a helper fit for him.”
And as we see in the preceding verses, the helper he makes for Adam is Eve. Woman is the helper fit for man. Eve is the one that, before the foundation of the world, God chose to come along and assist Adam’s leadership. So, God created Adam and placed him in the garden, with the specific command to work and enjoy his creation. And as Adam did so alone, God brought to him a helper fit for him. Eve was uniquely designed in the image of God to come alongside and assist Adam with strength and dignity. God made Eve special, just like Adam, in His image. She was made to be his strong and caring helper, working with him to do what God called them to do.
The timeline set for us here is one that the rest of the Bible follows. Although they are both equally made in the image of God, the man (Adam) is the head of the household, the one God has called to work hard and lead his home lovingly, and the woman (Eve) is the one God has called to come alongside and help him. She is the helper fit for him. And that word helper is not a demeaning term; it’s not a term of weakness. It’s a term of dignity and strength. Psalm 33:20 says, “Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.” So, if the term 'helper' is a title of honor and strength regarding the LORD, it has to be a title of honor and strength for Eve, as well.
Men and women are created equally in dignity, value, and worth before God. They’re both image bearers. But they’ve been given distinct, complementary roles. The man in the garden was called by God to lovingly and sacrificially work for God’s glory, and then the woman was called by God to lovingly support, nurture, and help man do so.
Proverbs 31:11 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Married men, listen to me. God has called you to work for your family, and he has called you to lead your family. But God, in his infinite grace and mercy, has given you the gift of your wife. She is the helper fit for you. So, do not run from her; run to her. Let her be of help to you. Eve was uniquely designed in the image of God to come alongside and assist Adam in glorifying God with strength and dignity. God made Eve special, just like Adam, in His image. She was made to be his strong and caring helper, working with him to do what God called them to do.
Now, in a way, verse 18 serves as the thesis statement for what’s going to transpire for the rest of this chapter, which is the creation of woman. Verses 19-20 set the stage for what Adam was doing before Eve entered the picture, and I think it heightens for us the importance and value of Eve in this context. So, let’s look at what was transpiring before Eve was made for a moment.
“[19] Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. [20] The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.”
The first thing we see here is God alluding to how the animals were made. In the same way that Adam was formed out of the ground, all of the beasts of the field and the birds of the heavens were formed. But, as we saw in verse 7, unlike the beasts of the field and the birds of the air, God breathed life into the nostrils of Adam, making him distinct from the rest of creation. Animals found life through God’s creative word, but man found life through God’s intimate breath. God granted Adam authority over the rest of creation, entrusting him to name all the living creatures.
To name something means you possess authority over it. If I walked up to you and said, “Your son is so cute, and I love the name ‘John.’ But today he will now be known as ‘Judith.” You would look at me like I had four heads because I do not possess the authority to name your child.
So, Adam was exercising dominion over God’s creation by naming all the living creatures. But as he did so, he began to take notice of how something was different between him and the rest of creation. And the difference wasn’t wings or hooves; it was the fact that he was alone. There were multiple giraffes; there was a boy giraffe and a girl giraffe. There were multiple elephants; there was a boy elephant and a girl elephant. There were multiple aardvarks; there was a boy aardvark and a girl aardvark. But here Adam sits all alone. Unlike the rest of the creation, “there was not found a helper fit for Adam.” So, God took action— “The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.”
There’s beautiful intentionality here. God did not have to create woman in this way, but he did. He could have easily created both male and female from the dust, just like he did with every other animal. But he didn’t! With great intentionality and purpose, God chose to cause a deep sleep to fall on Adam, take from him his rib, and form Eve from it. Eve was taken out of Adam, formed out of his very being, making her equally an image bearer as Adam. She was a precious addition to Adam, a gift given by God as a complementary helper to him. As Matthew Henry puts it so beautifully, “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”
Look what Adam says when God brought her to him, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.” Here, we find Adam immediately acknowledging the gift this woman is to him. He was apparently aware of his need, and he saw how God met that need, which led him to joyfully celebrate her presence—“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!”
Husbands in the room, listen to me! Adam publicly celebrated Eve as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. Follow Adam’s example here and use your words to celebrate your girl as the gift that she is! A Godly man will always use his words to build up his wife, not tear her down, to celebrate her, not berate her. There should never be any doubt in anyone's mind that your wife is the most precious thing in the world to you. That’s bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh!
Adam uses careful wordplay here in this declaration. He calls her woman (ishah in Hebrew) because she was taken out of man (ish in Hebrew). This wordplay links their identity; they mutually belong to each other. Although different, she was equal with him, one with him— “this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”
This is marriage language being used here, which is why Moses follows up with, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Obviously, Adam didn’t have a father or mother to leave at this time. But God is establishing His design for the marriage covenant moving forward here.
The word “therefore” links what was just said with what’s about to be said. So, in the same way that God brought Eve to Adam for them to become one, “a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Before there was ever a father and mother to leave, God sculpted the marriage covenant between a man and a woman to be an act of both leaving and cleaving, where they leave their parents to become one with their spouse. Something special takes place in marriage. And out of this union that was formed, the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. In every way imaginable (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), they were completely innocent and vulnerable and open with one another. There was no guilt, fear, brokenness, or shame. There was no hiding or mistrust. In every way, they were fully known and fully loved. This was God’s original design for creation.
In Matthew 19, Jesus was asked the question, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
The question was prompted by an attempt to rightly interpret Deuteronomy 24:1, which allowed a man to give his wife a certificate of divorce if he found some indecency in her. Some interpreted this strictly, limiting it to a case of sexual immorality. Others interpreted it broadly, permitting divorce for almost any reason. But Jesus said, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” So, Jesus directed their attention past the law back to God’s original design for marriage in creation. In doing so, he’s making the argument that God, in the beginning, designed marriage to be a covenantal, one-flesh union between a man and a woman that was meant to be permanent and not causally dissolved by human decision.
So, if Jesus engaged the questions of his culture regarding marriage by directing their attention back to God’s original design in the garden, we ought to do the same. When it comes to defining marriage, the Bible consistently points back to Genesis 2, which teaches that God designed marriage as a lifelong covenant union between one man and one woman. Society will seek to say you can enjoy the benefits of marriage without a marriage covenant, and that’s a lie. Society will seek to say that you can leave your marriage whenever you want, and that’s a lie. Society will seek to say that marriage doesn’t have to be between a man and a woman, and that’s a lie.
Paul, for example, warns against sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 6:15-20. He says, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” So, here Paul is preaching against sexual immorality, and he’s saying that sex is only to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage. In the beginning, God designed sex to be a gift that is to be enjoyed between a husband and a wife, a man and a woman, within a marriage covenant. Sex is the forging together of two bodies, the act of two becoming one flesh. Therefore, it is a sin to seek to enjoy the benefits of marriage outside of a marriage covenant.
Paul, in Ephesians 5, makes one of the most beautiful theological connections between marriage and the gospel. In Ephesians 5:31, he quotes Genesis 2:24 to describe marriage and its mystery, pointing to Christ and the church. In Ephesians 5, he’s making the argument that God ultimately designed marriage to be a portrait of the gospel. So, God intentionally crafted the marriage covenant in the manner that He did, so that it could be a portrait of the gospel, Jesus’ relationship with the church.
Let’s look at this within its greater context. In Ephesians 5:22-33, he says,
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Here we find Paul adding color to the black and white definition of marriage that always existed before Jesus died on the cross. And the color that he’s adding is the gospel. In the garden, Adam was given the responsibility to lead, nourish, and lovingly cherish his wife, and Eve was to complement and help Adam rule over creation. In the garden, Adam was the head of the house, the leader of the home, and Eve was called to help him and submit to his leadership. In the same way that being a helper isn’t a sign of weakness, submission isn’t equivalent to a lack of dignity and worth. Submission shouldn't be offensive; it should be an honor. We see this demonstrated for us in the Trinity. In the Trinity, we see the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as equal in worth, value, and honor; they are one. But, despite this oneness, each person has a different role.
In John 5, Jesus says that he was sent by the Father to do the work of the Father, walking in complete submission to the Father's will. So, although Jesus was one with the Father, he willingly submitted to the will of the Father. But, because He submitted to the Father, that doesn't mean he was any less than the Father. He is the Word made flesh, fully divine! He is the One all things were made by, through, and for! He is the One every knee will bow and every tongue will confess as Lord! Yet, he willfully, intentionally, and joyfully submitted himself to the Father's will.
So, if submission is offensive, Christ should be offended. But if Christ doesn’t balk at submission, we shouldn’t either. Submission shouldn't be offensive; it should be an honor. It’s an act of strength and dignity, an opportunity to display the life and character of our Savior and Lord, Jesus.
Now, submission assumes leadership. For a wife to submit, the husband must lead. And his leadership must be sacrificial and loving. As the head of the household, the man lays his own wants and desires down for the good of his wife. He cares for his bride like he would care for his own body. He bathes her in the Word of God as he’s in it daily. The best leaders are selfless leaders. The most godly husbands are the most loving husbands.
Now, I think two of the biggest temptations within marriage to distort this beautiful design are two-fold. Either (1) a wife refuses to submit to her husband and rule over him, or (2) a husband seeks to abuse his right to rule over a woman through harsh, cruel, and exploitative domination. Neither are biblical, and neither should be encouraged or accepted. Instead, God designed marriage to be a forging together of two bodies, where a wife submits to her husband as he lovingly lays down his life for her good, caring for her as he would his own body. And what’s beautiful is this was all God’s original design to ultimately display the gospel, Jesus’ relationship with his bride, the church. God designed marriage in the garden to be a portrait of the gospel!